Barking, woofing, growling, it’s a thing of art. Us dogs do it best, and we put a lot of passion behind the science of it. It’s what we do. We bark to protect, we bark to ward off intruders, we bark for the hell of it, in general, we bark sometimes at strange things. Today is no different than the rest, except that there is a strange (new) dog at my neighbors (a yellow lab) who is in the room right outside our kitchen window, and….he is barking. That is driving me crazy, and I am running around the house like a maniac, from window to window, growling, barking, woofing and even an occasional snort trying to tell that dog that I am here and I am on patrol! I have been up on the kitchen sink so many times this morning growling & barking at him that Mommy actually caught me in the act. I turned around and acted so innocent, like I was getting a drink of water or something, but she caught me and laughed. Ok, back to my patrol, I can hear that dog out of all the windows, so I must run to each window and bark out of it, just in case. That yellow dog is making the other dogs in the house bark, which then I can hear a harmony of woofs that echo in the morning air.
HOW TO BARK THE RIGHT WAY:
1. First, find a subject to bark at
2. Make sure your barks are believable
3. Make sure you bark from the gut, as it makes your barks sound meaner
4. Run back & forth while barking, this draw attention to you
5. Make sure you add some growls in between your barks, this makes everyone know you are serious
6. Once you do all of the above, you will get rewarded with “Treats” for a job well done, if not, REPEAT steps 1 thru 5
May the BARK be with you!
Love – Nikita